Parenting

It seems like my kids are becoming more and more disrespectful (disobedient and defiant). I know this means I need to change my parenting style. I need to foster a loving atmosphere and yet have boundaries and teach mutual respect. 

Getting the ball rolling will be tough but I know I need growth in the area of parenting - God has made it clear- and I am trusting Him to guide the way. I still need to do my part- research and practice. 

Praying for peace. 

Bad mom day

I know I've had different mood swings depending on my hormone levels (ie pregnant, nursing, PMSing, or "other"), amount of sleep, kids amount of sleep, how full my love tank is, how distracted I become with technology or with laziness. 

Today is a combo but I think lack of sleep is top rank. Sometimes my husband has to work late and I mean really late. I don't even know what time of the morning he came home maybe 1 or 2? My baby was up at 7 I think, and crying so I was up and moving them. Add in a couple bathroom breaks or waking up because I hear one of the kids and it doesn't add up to much sleep. It's one of those days where I know I'm ready to snap and I'm just trying to make it through the day. 

It's hard. I know the wrong behaviors and yet I do them. I'm not perfect and I'll never be, this side of heaven. But it's days like these that make me feel like a "bad mom". I am struggling to keep my sanity, how can I expect to take valuable moments to train my children. 

Ever had moments where just playful kid behavior gets under your skin... As if you expect them to act like mature adults? Yup that day is today. 

2 Corinthians 12:9King James Version (KJV)

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Psalm 3, proverbs 3 and March 3

I've been a Christian awhile but I will admit that I am far from being who God intends for me to be.
I have struggled in following his commands to pray, study, and serve.
So today I was working yet again on study. I'll take it one day at a time but for today it was good. Since today is March 3, I decided to read psalm 3 and proverbs 3. I've heard many times the tip to take one chapter of proverbs each day of any given month- whatever the date in the month, read that chapter. So that's what I decided to do today... And add psalm 3 to it.
So with proverbs 3 I began to notice a pattern... One or more commands are given and then the promises followed. So I used colored pencils to underline the commands (Crimson-red) and promises(purple). for example: do not forget/store my commands in your heart (command), and your life will be satisfying (promise).
It was neat to see this pattern. I had not noticed it before, though I knew the bible was full of both commands and promises and didn't really link the two until now.
Then in psalm 3, I took the psalm and rewrote it to be my own psalm- the cry of my own heart. sometimes we have enemies that are quite close to us, for some it's a neighbor, others a family member or spouse. Here is my prayer concerning someone in my life. Perhaps you too could rewrite this psalm too. Read the scripture and see if God places something on your heart. I read it from the new living translation. My own psalm is below.

Psalm 3 rewritten as a psalm of autumn sparrow:
O Lord, I have a close enemy,
One who is much against me.
He is saying,
"There is no hope for you."
But you O Lord, are my hope and my shield around me, you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.
I cry out to you O Lord and you hear me from your holy mountain.
I go to sleep with a broken heart and injured spirit, yet I wake in the safety of your peace, for you are watching over me.
I am not afraid when my enemy offends me from every side.
Arise, O Lord!
Rescue me, my God!
Slap my enemy in the face with your truth.
Shatter his hardened heart that you may piece it back together in a new way.
Victory comes from you, O Lord.
May you bless your people.
And may my enemy, like Paul who was an oppressor, become one of your blessed people too.

Reading, writing and reality

March 2015:

I recently went to a parent forum for parents to find out about kindergarten- what the students may know before entering, and what they will learn during the year. Our kindergartener to be is pretty much set for the things she should be able to do (and they test them in May to see where they are academically). I have slowly been working with my two older girls in phonics (sing spell read write program) and math (math u see primer). We have discussed if we want to keep them home to homeschool or send them to public school. No verdict reached yet. Partly because I am unemployed and if I can find a decent paying job similar to my part time job I lost, we will likely send them to school to lower the cost of childcare. But if I am still unemployed this summer we then have to decide for ourselves rather than the situation deciding for us.
One of the things I was reminded of at the parent forum that I had swept under the rug, was the importance of reading to children daily. That very night when I returned from the meeting and the kids had just finished daddy time (watching videos of how things are made) I grabbed some books and read to them. Lately I've invited them to curl up in my bed to read. I love reading to them now. I love starting the sentence and pausing to give them a chance to finish it. Most of our books are just basic children's books. But we have some gems- books about the Bible and character building. The girls like Dave Ramsey's children's books- teaching integrity, giving, consequences of debt, etc. they also like The very hungry caterpillar and some dr Seuss books.
K2 loves doing schoolwork but K1 is not thrilled about it. She doesn't want to practice writing whatever letter she is practicing that day, yet I notice that when I ask if she wants to make a card or note for someone we are praying for she enjoys writing it. It is amazing how, even with a a masters degree in education with a concentration in differentiated instruction, I am having a hard time letting go of the structure of the SSRW book in order to let her practice in her own joyous way! It's almost as if I am afraid of her "missing something" by not sticking to the pattern of the book. Yet, the repetition in the book has me a bit bored too. God is teaching me to let go. Children need some space for expression.

June 2015: 

I get so wrapped up sometimes I don't make time to read. One f my weaknesses is that I find something I love and start with it but fail to be consistent in doing it. It is not much different when it comes to doing things with the kids.  I am inconsistent with our schooling, inconsistent in my quiet time with God, inconsistent in cleaning. It's awful! I get all hyped up about something and it fades out of my life. This is something I really need to work on and pray that God works on in me!

Five kids age 5 and under... For one day

I recently babysat two young children in my home. It is amazing how, somehow with a 5 year old, 4.5 year old, two 3 year olds and a 9 month old, I was able to do the dishes, vacuum, make lunch, prep for dinner, provide snack, wipe bottoms, change diapers, nurse, oversee playdoh time, do laundry, troubleshoot problems while teaching encouraging character building, and really not feel stressed! The children did not watch any TV while I watched them. Rather than checking email, reading statuses on Facebook and clicking links to interesting articles I was just living life. It was great. From the moment the children (5 year old and 3 year old) were dropped off, the interactions among them amazed me. I loved listening to them and I enjoyed focusing on how they were solving issues and making suggestions about what they wanted to do. They occasionally hit a snag and couldn't resolve the issue and would come to me and we would work on it. But when I think about how just listening to them taught me so much about instructing them better when they came to me for help, it fills me with joy. If I hadnt been listening to their progress in problem solving I may have taken a different path to solving the issue.
Sure there were times when I wasn't listening to their every word, but it was so nice to listen as I worked around my home.
Prior to them coming over I prayed that God would bless this time with the kids, and He did just that. I didn't worry or stress about what could go wrong with 5 kids age 5 and under I just jumped in with both feet trusting God would not give me anything I could not handle with His help.
Now, I do believe that it would have been significantly more challenging if there was a large gap in character qualities between my children and the visiting children. They did have different strengths in character but clearly they have all been taught certain things about appropriate play etiquette. They are not perfect (none of us are) but no one slugged anyone, spit on anyone, swore at anyone... You get the point.
Had the children been this way it would have been a different ballgame but with God we would have made it through the day too. And had they been this way, I still would have strived to show God's love and care, it just may have been a bit more physically and emotionally taxing by the end of the day.

Psalm 127:3 children are a blessing from the Lord.

Funeral

Today (feb 13) I attended a funeral or shall we say celebration of life service for an awesome woman of God. I did not know her well but we are sisters in Christ and someday I will get to see her again in heavenly splendor. The service was wonderful.
Here are a couple scriptures that I was reminded of today. Proverbs 31 and Titus 2:7-8.
The testimony given by her husband was beautiful. You couldn't help but feel inspired by the way she lived and the way she died... Forever praising her God and her Savior.

Her daily mission was "how can I help someone else today?"
She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and it was throughout her body. Doctors gave her a maximum of 3 months. God blessed the world with her presence for nearly 6 YEARS!

Just a reminder that God's plan is best.

Philippians 1:21-24

How I dress- my personal convictions

Romans 12:1-2New International Version (NIV)
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.


I was recently reading another blog about a woman choosing to change how she dresses because of her eyes be opened and her heart being convicted about how men view a woman in various types of clothing.
I know this type of story. Over 5 years ago, just before I became pregnant with my first child I felt a similar conviction. I was a teacher in a middle school and it was common for me to wear fitted style dress pants or fitted jeans (on dress down days). My eyes were opened about how men view women. I often would catch my husband noticing women in tight or skimpy clothing. I noticed them too. Their attire drew the attention. Though for me there was not a sexual attractiveness about noticing it. I knew there were already plenty of women who chose their style of dress to help curb the sexual attention of men. The more I thought about it the more I felt convicted about how I dressed. Sure, I thought I looked okay in tight pants but could it be drawing attention that does not honor the God I serve? I was a teacher, in front of numerous pubescent youngsters each day. Could it be that I was being a distraction to their learning by how I dressed? Could I somehow be encouraging lustful thoughts?
I don't consider myself to be particularly beautiful, so why would anyone have any attraction to my outward beauty? Well, men (and boys) do notice. No matter what size or shape or what color hair you have, men notice you.
As a teacher I was in front of students all day. They saw me from the front and the back. If I was talking or if I was writing on the board, their attention was expected to be on me. To think that a young teacher wearing tight jeans or dress pants would not be noticed by students, was just incorrect. No matter how much I would love to believe that I would not draw that kind of attention, it most likely did happen and probably more than I'd like to think possible.
So, what was I going to do about? Summer of 2009 I switched how I dressed. From that day on, every school day I showed up in a skirt- none that hugged my bum. If I went out in public I was in a skirt. It also made me feel more professional. I felt more like a role model and teacher rather than someone who dressed like the students. I am a petite 5'2 and had be occasionally mistaken as a student in the halls. So dressing better had even more benefits.
I became pregnant that fall which worked out well for my wardrobe since many skirts had elastic waists. In May, 6-7 months pregnant, we took a field trip to NYC on a Saturday. That day I wore maternity jeans in front of that small group of students. although I was not fully comfortable with wearing them, they were the best balance of practical and modest that I had for the trip.
It was good for me to "quit cold turkey" in terms of wearing pants in public. Over the years I have made some compromises in my wardrobe. I do occasionally wear capris or knee length shorts. And I have, on occasion run the the store in yoga pants- though I am very self conscious and if I can I wear something to cover my bum (a sweater/cardigan/jacket).
This has been my conviction. I impose it on no one. I don't usually talk about it unless people bring it up... And they do. I have no issue talking about it. And I am glad when they ask me about it since that means they perhaps do not want to make assumptions and/or spread gossip about my clothing.

So how did my husband like my change in wardrobe??
Well, at first he liked how I looked in skirts. Perhaps he liked the more well kept look on me. But over time he would complain that I wasn't wearing something tight fitting in public. This has been a topic of discussion many times for us. I do make the effort to wear form fitted things around the house for him. I realize he is my husband and would like to have some visual tease from ME. So when I can I wear yoga pants and even go braless which makes him smile when he arrives home from work. I have no issues with dressing that way for him. As our girls grow older we will have to make some alterations and find new ways to be good role models and yet good spouses too :)

Overall this change has been good for me. I enjoy wearing skirts most of the time and just feel better in them. I know God desires for me to follow Him, not the world. He does not desire for me to intice men. I know that there will still be men who will lust after women regardless of how they dress but if dressing more modestly will help their hearts be pure when they look at me then I have "helped keep my brother [in christ] from sin." Intentionally dressing to get sexual attention is not God's will. Therefore, I chose not to conform to the ways of this world. I'm not perfect and never will be but my heart is in the right place.



MY Pros to my more modest dress:
1. Professional look
2. Respect more easily attained
3. Less sexual attention from other men
4. More flexibility with weight gain/loss
5. More discussion on the topic
6. Less likely to be distracting to teaching


MY cons:
1. Had to go shopping for clothes (but would have needed to anyway since I became pregnant shortly after)
2. Had to find ways to keep legs warm in winter under skirts without too much static cling!
3. Finding a balance that works and adjusting it as I go