The Rainbow after the Storm

October 10, 2014

So for those who read my previous post you know about the heartache I experienced in September 2013. So what were the next steps? Well they said they'd do bloodwork once on the 25th, then two weeks later, and if the beta hcg count was still not less than 5 they'd wait two weeks and do it again. Three sticks? To someone who doesn't like needles and who was about to go in for a shot that same day, I questioned if it was possible to just wait two weeks to do the first test and if the number was still not down enough (as many people experience ), then they could do another at four weeks out from the miscarriage. They said that would be fine. So two weeks later I went to get my blood drawn. I could still trigger a pregnancy test so I knew the count was over 5. What I didn't expect was that I'd need an emergency ultrasound! My counts came back extremely high. They expect the number to be up to 100,000 for a regular pregnancy ...and mine, at two weeks post miscarriage was 137,000! They needed to investigate... could it be a molar pregnancy (can be cancerous) or a multiple pregnancy? The cooperating doctor was out of town so they scheduled an emergency ultrasound for that evening at the hospital. I scrambled for a sitter but found none. (Perhaps someone would have found the time if they knew why, but I wasn't prepared to share my roller coaster at the time.) so Hubby  stayed home to put the girls to bed while I headed to the hospital. 
Although friendly, the technician didn't say much while doing the ultrasound but she went back and forth across my belly. I was praying. Praying that yet again God would bring good from this. I placed it in His hands. 
It felt like the ultrasound took forever! Then I went back to the waiting room to go pee. When I got out they had the midwife on the phone. She told me that they found a sac with just some tissue left at this point but it was not molar! Praise God! then she went on to tell me that there was a second sac with a thriving heartbeat. And so far everything looked great for that baby. It was bittersweet. Mourning one loss and celebrating the life of the twin. Our little baby (K3.0) would continue to grow and thrive while my body absorbed the remains of her "vanishing twin". 
We never got to hear or see it's heartbeat but it definitely rocked my world and will be part of me as long as I live. 
So today... On the anniversary of K3.0's first ultrasound... With all my kids sick... I am thankful for each of them. Thankful that God has purposed for my life to be a mom. Not always easy but such a blessing.
And I still proclaim... The Lord gives and The Lord takes away and I will still praise Him!

Job 1:21New International Version

21 and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
    and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lordhas taken away;
    may the name of the Lordbe praised.”